Is, to starve some one of answers, emotional abuse? To talk, but not necessarily converse? To not, consciously, but still manage 'casual' conversations and not the 'serious' kind? Emotional abuse. It is not a term I use, to be honest. That, along with 'emotional affair'. These are semantics, they work for us and are convenient and we use them. So while I don’t think its abuse, it could be neglect. And it is unfair.
To expect someone to toe your line, to follow your rules is unfair. To say this is me, take it or leave it, is unfair. To say I don’t believe in romance, so you should not either or at least not expect me to be romantic, is unfair. To say or imply that I don’t talk emotional stuff, so maybe you shouldn’t, unless you want to see me squirm or be uncomfortable, or run for the hills, is unfair. To take advantage of the fact that they will not do that, is unfair. To be insensitive to the whole thing..is cruel.
Life is unfair then, don’t you think. Considering how the people we like are so different to who we are. And considering how when we fall hard- if you’re the live emotionally kind of person- we tend to do the exact opposite of what we want to do.
What happens in the process is introspection. It is dwelling in a dark room, made more frustrating and infinitely more difficult by the fact that you have no idea how the other person is feeling. You’re dwelling and they are.. oblivious. But that’s the choice you make, if you choose to walk the wire and live, on that fine point of contradiction between oblivion and madness. To live an emotionally sharp life, at least for me, is a conscious choice. Not one that came with a lot of thought-It just so happens, that, of late, I think I lead an emotionally charged life. Maybe it is the writing I indulge in these days or the kind of company I keep. What ever it is, it is this.
What do you do?
Do you deny or crave?
Give or receive?
Nurture or shun?
Love or leave?
Do you deny or crave?
Give or receive?
Nurture or shun?
Love or leave?
Both?
This ending has an abruptness. And that is how it feels.
To be starved.
But crave you must.
Crave i do.
This ending has an abruptness. And that is how it feels.
To be starved.
But crave you must.
Crave i do.
2 comments:
more stuff that id like to forward. and the timing impeccable, yet again.
i can only hope that not many among us are faced with choices as extreme as those u describe.
Darling, hurray for an emotional charged life. It is the way to feel alive. However please note it also comes with it vice. Feel, don't be afraid to. I know you're not. It's hard to be with people who aren't of similar thought.
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